Elephants
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- Objavljeno subota, 10 decembar 2016 18:59
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Q:What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill"
A:"Here come the elephants over the hill."
Q:What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill
wearing dark glasses?
A:Nothing, he didn't recognize them.
Q:Why do elephants wear pink tennis shoes?
A:Because white ones get dirty to fast.
Q:Why do elephants float down the river on their backs?
A:So they won't get their tennis shoes wet.
Q:Why do elephants have wrinkled ankles?
A:Because their tennis shoes are too tight.
Q:Why do elephants have wrinkled knees?
A:From playing marbles.
Q:How do you tell an elephant from a grape?
A:A grape is purple.
Q:What did Jane say when she saw the elephants?
A:"OOH look at all those grapes."(She was colorblind.)
Q:Why are elephants colored grey?
A:So you can tell them from canaries.
Q:What is it that looks like an elephant and flies?
A:A flying elephant>
Q:What is it that looks like an elephant and flies and is very dangerous?
A:A flying elephant with a machine gun.
Q:If you're colorblind how do you tell an elephant from a grape?
A:Jump around on it for awhile. If you don't get any wine it's an elephant.
Q:Why don't more elephant go to college?
A:Not too many eleplanhts finish high school.
Q:How do you put six elephants in a Volkswagen?
A:Three in front and three in back.
Q:Why do elephants need trunks?
A:Because they don't have glove compatrments.
Q:Why do elephants have flat feet?
A:From jumping out of trees.
Q:How do you know if an elephant's standing near you in an elevator?
A:By the smell of peanuts on his breath.
Q:Why do elephants prefer peanuts to caviar?
A:Because the're easier to get at the ballpark.
Q:How does an elephant put his trunk in a crocodile's mouth?
A:Very carefully.
Q:what do you call elephants who ride on trains?
A:Passengers.
Q:Why do girl elephants wear angora sweaters?
A:So you can tell them from boy elephants.
Q:Why does a bald elephant wear for a toupee?
A:A sheep.
Q:Why don't elephants like blue lace petticoats?
A:Who said they don't like blue lace petticoats ? ? ?
Q:Where do baby elephants come from?
A:BIG storks.
Q:What did the banana say to the elephant?
A:Nothing, bananas can't talk.
Q:Why do elephants lie on their backs with their feet in the air?
A:So they can trip birds.
THE WORLD'S WORST ELEPHANT JOKES
Q:How can you tell if an elephant is sleeping?
A:When he's in bed with the covers pulled up and he's wearing pajamas
and his pink tennis shoes are off, the chances are he's asleep, if
he's snoring. (But watch it anyway.)
Q:Why did the elephant walk around in polka-dot socks?
A:Somebody stole his tennis shoes.
Q:Why did the elephants quit their job at the factory?
A:They got tired of working for peanuts.
Q:How do you housebreak an elephant?
A:You get 14 copies of the New York Times-the Sunday edition.
Q:How can you tell if an elephant's been in the refrigerator?
A:By the footprints in the pizza.
Q:Why do elephants eat peanuts?
A:Because they're saltier than prunes.
Q:Where do you find elephants?
A:It depends where you lost them.
Q:What did elephant say when he got caught in the revolvinng door?
A:"If this place wants to do much business with elephants, they better
get bigger revolving door!"
Q:How do you make a hamburger for an elephant?
A:First you take 500 jars of mustard, 60 gallons of catsup, 90 pounds of
onions, and then you get this BIG roll . . .
Q:What do elephants eat beside hamburgers?
A:Canned elephant food.
Q:Why do elephants have hair on their tails?
A:Why not?
Q:What do you do when an elephant sneezes?
A:Get out of the way.
Q:What did the nearsighted elephant say when the Volkswagen ran into it?
A:"How many times I told yoo kids-don't play in street!"
Q:Why don't elephants ride busses during rush hour?
A:They're afraid of pickpockets.
Q:What does an elephant smell like before it takes shower?
A:An elephant.
Q:What does an elephant smell like after it takes shower?
A:A wet elephant.
Q:How many elephants on a Nurndy team?
A:Ten. Two borks, six forwards and two wopplers.
Q:Why are elephants so much better at Nurndy than people?
A:Because they wopple better.
Q:Why don't elephants like martinis?
A:Did you ever try to get an olive out of your nose?
Q:Why aren't more elephants called Walter?
A:Because Ed and Norm are better names for elephants.
Q:How does an elephant get out of a phone booth?
A:The sane way he got in.
Q:What did the nearsighted elephant say when he saw the tank.
A:"Hi pop."
Q:What do you call a hippopotamus who's been carrying elephants across
river all day?
A: A VER tired hippopotamus.
Q:What did Jane say when she saw the elephant working in the drug store?
A:"I didn't know the giraffe sold the place!"
Q:Which elephants don't get toothaches?
A:Those in the half of the herd that uses Crest.
Q:How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchcuk could chuck wood?
A:Listen, you want to know about woodchucks, get the Woodchuck Book. This
is The Elephant Book.
Q:What did Tarzan say when he saw the male elephant jump off the cliff?
A:"That's how the big bull bounces."
Q:How do you get an elephant out of a tubr of gelatin?
A:Follow the directions on the back of the box.
Q:Why do elephants live in the jungle?
A:Because it's out of the high rent district.
Q:How can you tell when an elephant is gettong ready to charge?
A:He takes out his Diner's Club card.
Q:What did the elephant say to the maharajah?
A:"Get off my back!"
Q:Why do elephants jump across rivers?
A:So they won't step on the fish.
Q:Why does an elephant never forget?
A:What's he got to remember? Does an elephant have to remember where he
parked his car, or his wedding anniversary, or if he left the water
running in the basement?
Q:What did the elephants saywhen they saw Tarzan leaving the jungle?
A:"There goes Tarzan leaving the jungle."
Except for one tiny little elephant
who ran out
in
front
and
said
"Goodbye."
Some further questions about elephants that have not at this point been
answered:
Why aren't there more Elephants in the Space Program?
Why has the Elephants been replaced as a Household Pet by the Cat?
Why do Rhinoceroses get all the good parts in Westerns?
Not one Elephant has been invited to Buckingham Palaca in the past
six months. Why is this?
Why isn't the CIA training Elephants in Guatemala?
What is the Mayor of Waterloo, Iowa, donig about the Elephants question?
When was the lasr time you took an Elephant to lunch?